


Choices

by macbyrne



Category: CW Network RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Community: j2_everafter, Crossover, Homelessness, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Underage Prostitution, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-25
Updated: 2010-02-25
Packaged: 2018-02-21 11:38:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2466851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/macbyrne/pseuds/macbyrne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for j2_everafter for Lady and the Tramp. Jensen is not a cocker spaniel, Jared is not a mixed breed and sadly, Jeffrey Dean Morgan is definitely not a rotund Italian who feeds dogs spaghetti.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Choices

As first kisses go, it was pretty tame. Tom had come over to get some help with his chemistry homework and Jensen had offered to get them some sodas from the fridge before they got started. He didn’t realize what Tom was after when he followed him to the fridge and pushed him against the counter, but he caught on pretty quick when Tom kissed him. Tom was hot and popular and Jensen had entertained one or two R-rated thoughts about him late at night, alone in bed. Tom’s lips were warm and soft against his, pressing against his mouth, moving against his lips, teasing his mouth open and pressing warm, wet open-mouthed kisses against his. When Tom gently licked his bottom lip, he tentatively licked back, following Tom’s tongue as it twined against his.   
  
It wasn’t as mind blowing as he’d hoped. He didn’t forget that he was standing in his kitchen. He couldn’t ignore the fact that the counter was pressing painfully against his back or that he was holding an open can of soda in the hand that wasn’t gripping Tom’s shirt. He found himself getting caught up in the fact that Tom smelled of sweat and Axe body spray and onions from his lunch. It wasn’t a gross or dirty combination, but it was definitely overpowering.  
  
He pressed against Tom’s chest, pushing him back a little bit. “Wait. Wait.”  
  
Tom grinned. “I’ve _been_ waiting. I’ve wanted you forever, Jenny.”  
  
Jensen grimaced. “Don’t call me that. And why didn’t you ever say anything?”  
  
Tom shrugged. “I was with Kristen. But we broke up last week. So I figured now was as good a time as any.” He leaned forward to kiss Jensen again.  
  
“Tom, wait. I don’t... Tom, I like you. I like you a lot, you’re a great guy. But I don’t think... I don’t like you like _that_.”  
  
He pulled back and stared at Jensen’s face for a few seconds before shrugging. “That’s okay. I’m not ready to get married Jenny. But we can have some fun, right?” And then he was kissing him again.  
  
Jensen tried to lose himself in the kiss, tried to make it be everything the movies and books said a first kiss was supposed to be. He opened his mouth to Tom’s eager tongue, trying to ignore Tom’s onion breath, trying to ignore the fact that Tom’s hand was gripping his ass in a way that was a hell of a lot more uncomfortable than it was sexy. He was going to have bruises tomorrow, he just knew it.  
  
When he heard the slam of the kitchen door, he knew that a couple of bruises were the least of his problems.  
  


~*~

  
  
“Get out, you fucking pervert! Get out of my house!”  
  
“It’s my house too, Josh!”  
  
“It won’t be once I tell Mom and Dad what I saw you doing!”  
  
“I didn’t do anything!”  
  
“Sure you didn’t. Because it’s perfectly normal to be sucking face with another guy. You’re a goddamn queer! Admit it! Admit you’re a fucking faggot!”  
  
Jensen shook his head stubbornly.   
  
“I _saw_ you, Jensen! I saw you kissing him! So you might as well get out now. You know what the church says about gays. You know what Mom and Dad are going to say.”  
  
Jensen bit his trembling lip, trying not to let his brother see the fear that was coursing through him. He _did_ know what his church, his _parent’s_ church said about homosexuality. While his parents had never espoused the hatred that their preacher spewed each Sunday, they’d never railed against it either. He’d never heard them say anything particularly horrible about the gay community, but they’d certainly never given any indication they’d be okay with a gay son. He pictured his father’s face with Josh’s look of disgust, pictured his mother’s disappointment and tears. He imagined them banishing him from his childhood home, forbidding him from ever contacting them again and he flinched. He met Josh’s eyes.  
  
Josh nodded. His face was creased with loathing. “That’s right. They’ll hate you. Just like I do. Just like Mack will.”  
  
Jensen gave in at the mention of his baby sister. The thought of her hating him sent a wave of nausea through him and he knew he had no choice. He had to get out.  
  
Josh followed him through the house as he hurriedly packed a change of clothes in his knapsack. When he stopped at the front door, giving a last glance over his shoulder to every memory he had of love and security, Josh crowded him, practically pushing him out the door.   
  
Jensen stopped on the top step of the front porch. “What will you tell them?”  
  
Josh snorted. “What the hell do you think? That their son is a dirty faggot who left for their own good.”  
  
He swallowed. He had to try one more time. “Josh, please—“  
  
“Forgot it, freak. If you leave now, if you get help, maybe you can come back someday. But God doesn’t love queers and neither do I. So get the fuck out, before I beat the fag out of you.”  
  
Jensen stared at his older brother. He couldn’t believe this was the man who had taught him how to ride a bike, how to pitch a tent in their backyard, who had told him all about kissing. Of course, Josh had meant kissing girls, but the principles were the same. He just couldn’t believe that Josh could cut him out of their life so easily, without worrying about what would happen.  
  
He tried one last time to appeal to the brother he thought he knew. “Where am I supposed to go?”  
  
Josh’s face hardened.   
  
“I don’t care.”  
  


~*~

  
  
Jensen was shivering. He’d walked for hours, trying to figure out where to go, who he could turn to and kept coming up empty. All of his friends would want to know why he’d been kicked out and he just couldn’t face the thought of telling them that his brother had caught him kissing another boy. The thought of going to a shelter made something inside him curl up and shake. In his haste to leave the house, he’d forgotten his wallet. He had no money, no ID, not even his emergency credit card to get a room at a motel.  
  
He was totally screwed.  
  
When the heavens opened above him and huge drops of rain began to fall, Jensen couldn’t even summon the energy to be pissed off. As his clothes became sodden and heavy with the cold rain, his steps became slower and slower. Soon he was barely shuffling along the street, arms wrapped around himself to try and stop his body from shaking itself to pieces.  
  
When the rain suddenly stopped and the cold wind died down, Jensen at first had absolutely no idea what had happened. He stood there for a moment, head bowed, trembling, before he realized that he was standing under an old abandoned overpass. The built up sides blocked the worst of the wind and the sudden lack almost made him feel warm in comparison.  
  
He had absolutely no idea where he was. No idea where he could go. He was cold and wet, penniless and alone. He’d never felt so lonely in his life.  
  
He tried to ignore the garbage scattered everywhere, the smell of urine that seemed to echo off the concrete walls. There was a rusted tin drum, charred and blackened that had obviously been used as a fire pit. It didn’t take a genius to realize that homeless people slept here.  
  
 _Homeless people like me_.  
  
He choked on the sob that tried to rise up his throat. He’d be damned if he’d cry now.   
  
Jensen moved forward slowly. For now, the area was abandoned, with no sign of the people who squatted there. He figured he better pick out a spot now, before other people returned and the best spots were claimed. Glancing around, Jensen decided that the area toward the back of the overpass, where the cement walls joined together, was the best spot. It would provide the best shelter, from both the wind and the rain and no one would be able to sneak up on him with his back against the wall.  
  
It was only after Jensen settled there with his knapsack and began watching the other people arrive that he realized there was a drawback to his choice. None of the veterans of the streets tried to roust him from his chosen spot and after a couple of hours he realized why.  
  
The surrounding walls sheltered him from the elements, but the cold cement against his back and under his ass sucked all the warmth out of Jensen’s body, leeching what little body heat he had left after his cold walk in the rain, until all he could do was clench his teeth together to try and stop them from chattering so loudly. He tried rubbing his hands together, tried huddling in on himself, even pulled out the sweatshirt from his knapsack and pulled it on over his damp clothes, hoping it would help.   
  
He stared longingly at the fire burning in the tin drum. Several of the homeless people were standing around it, talking quietly and holding their hands over the fire, while several more sat in small groups a short distance away, close enough that the light from the burning garbage illuminated their faces. He could go over there, go over and share in the warmth from the fire. But the thought of having to make conversation, of having to answer questions about why he was here, out on the streets, made him feel hollow and empty. He didn’t have any answers, not for them, not for himself.  
  
Jensen huddled in his cold little spot and watched as they talked animatedly, gesturing and pointing. He closed his eyes, listened to their voices and prayed that he’d be able to get some sleep without freezing to death.  
  


~*~

  
  
He was warm.  
  
It was the first thought that registered in Jensen’s barely conscious mind. He’d been so cold the night before, he didn’t think he’d ever be able to fall asleep. But at some point, the emotional toil the day had taken had overcome his fear and the cold and he’d fallen into a thin, uneasy slumber. Every noise had jarred him awake and his dreams had been unrecognizable, jagged edged shards of half-formed memories, faces of people he loved twisted into sneers and snarls.  
  
He didn’t know when that had changed. He didn’t know when his sleep had smoothed into something calmer, something soothing. He snuggled closer to the source of heat with a soft snuffling sound, not wanting to wake up yet.  
  
When he felt what was undeniably a hand spreading over his back, he sat bolt upright in shock.  
  
“Take it easy. I’m not going to hurt you.”  
  
“Who the fuck are you? And what the fuck are you doing over here?”  
  
“You were going to freeze to death last night, no matter how many layers you put on. You couldn’t have picked a worse spot to sleep, you know that? They would have found you this morning frozen solid, like a pigeon during a snowstorm. Too damn stupid to get out of the weather. What the hell were you playing at?”  
  
The words were harsh, but the tone wasn’t. Soft and concerned, just like the warm hazel eyes that stared up at him from a makeshift nest of blankets and newspaper.  
  
“I didn’t know. I’ve never… Last night was my first night.”  
  
“Was almost your last.”  
  
The man sat up and stretched, wincing a little when his back popped. “Jesus, I haven’t slept on concrete in a while. You get out of the habit.” He stood up, towering over Jensen who was still in his seated position and offered a hand down to him. “C’mon Pigeon. Let’s go get some breakfast and then you can explain the brilliant thinking that led you to take to a life on the streets.”  
  
 _Who did this guy think he was?_  
  
“Why the hell should I?”  
  
The guy looked over his shoulder and winked. “Why not?”  
  


~*~

  
  
Against his better judgment, Jensen followed the guy, clutching his knapsack tightly. He had no idea why he was doing this. Buddy was probably going to stab him and steal his stuff. But the thought of breakfast, of _any_ kind of food had his empty stomach rumbling and he realized he hadn’t eaten since lunch yesterday. He was so hungry he’d probably eat anything that wasn’t nailed down.  
  
“So what’s your story, Pigeon?”  
  
“My name isn’t _Pigeon_ , it’s Jensen.”  
  
“Sure Pidge, sure. I’m Jared. You gonna tell me what made you decide that a life on the streets was the life you always wanted?”  
  
Jensen walked a little faster. “Since it isn’t any of your business, that would be a no.”  
  
“Aw, c’mon Pidge. Don’t be like that. I’m just trying to make conversation.” Jared’s tone was wheedling, his eyes and voice soft and coaxing and Jensen could feel himself bend, just a little.   
  
“Besides,” Jared continued. “It’s not like you blend, dude. It’s obvious you don’t belong out here.”  
  
He stiffened. “What makes you say that?”  
  
Jared snorted. “Pidge, you got a brand new sweatshirt on, your bag doesn’t look more than a month old and you have honest to God _creases_ ironed into your pants. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but ironing boards are in short supply around here.”  
  
Jensen shrugged. “So I’m new to this. I’ll learn.”  
  
“Not if you don’t smarten up, and fast. Guess I’ll have to show you the ropes, huh?”  
  
“Look, Jared. I don’t know you. I don’t want your help, didn’t ask for it. I’ll be fine on my own.”  
  
Jared stared at him for a moment, then smiled. “Maybe you didn’t ask for it, Pidge. But you need it. Now c’mon. There’s some great dumpsters just around the corner, always have some nice pickings. And we’re early, so we won’t have to fight for anything.”  
  
He gulped. “D-dumpsters?”  
  
Jared’s grin widened. “Sure! Best part about living on the streets, Pidge! All-you-can-eat dumpster diving!”  
  
Jensen prayed that Jared was joking. He didn’t think he’d be able to scavenge for food in the garbage. It was too disgusting and humiliating to even think about. Jared _had_ to be joking.  
  


~*~

  
  
Jensen learned pretty quickly that Jared wasn’t joking. Jared didn’t joke about food. Everything else, but not food. He’d never seen anyone eat as much as Jared did.  
  
He’d also learned that pride didn’t stand a chance against hunger. Humiliating or not, disgusting or not, the sight of all the food that Jared pulled out of the dumpster—some of it still warm and steaming in the cold morning air—had Jensen’s stomach complaining so loudly he never even thought about refusing.   
  
The two boys huddled against the alley wall beside the dumpster, exchanging food and glances in equal measure. Jared bit into a barely bruised apple, while Jensen hungrily devoured a handful of mini bagels.   
  
He ignored Jared’s stare as he ate. He tried to ignore Jared’s questions, too.  
  
“I’ll just keep on asking, Pidge. You might as well tell me.”  
  
“What? What exactly do you want to know?”  
  
“Well, for starters, do you have anything even resembling a plan?”  
  
Jensen swallowed his last bite of bagel, looking longingly at the overripe banana sticking out of Jared’s pocket. Jared barely glanced at him before handing it over.  
  
“Why do I need a plan? You don’t have one.”  
  
“How do you know?”  
  
Jensen’s mouth was full, so he just gave Jared a glare. He chuckled in response.  
  
“Okay, maybe I don’t have a plan. But I’ve been doing this for a long time, man. I can survive out here. You? I don’t know. But I’ll tell you something, Pidge. If you don’t have a plan, you’re gonna wind up doing whatever you can to get by. And out here, that’s never anything good.”  
  
Jensen’s eyes narrowed at the tone of warning in Jared’s voice.  
  
“What the hell does that mean?”  
  
He watched as Jared rubbed a hand tiredly over his eyes. He stared at Jensen for a few long seconds, then rose to his feet and held out a hand to help Jensen up. “C’mon. I wanna show you something.”  
  


~*~

  
  
They walked for what felt like hours. Jensen was still exhausted from his long restless night and he had no idea why he was following Jared anywhere, aside from the fact that Jared had prevented him from freezing to death last night. And had fed him breakfast this morning. And was apparently planning on taking Jensen under his wing and looking out for him. It was obvious Jared was a veteran of the streets and he hadn’t tried to stab Jensen yet, so why not hang out with the guy?  
  
And if the fact that Jared was kinda hot beneath his shabby clothes and street grime, well. That had nothing to do with it. Just a random observation.  
  
He was so busy _not_ cataloging all the ways that Jared was hot—eyes, lips, dimples, smile, height, _ass_. _Maybe it should be alphabetical_ , he thought distractedly—that he didn’t realize Jared had stopped walking until Jensen slammed into his back.  
  
“Shit! Sorry, sorry!”  
  
“Don’t worry about it, Pidge. Just come here and look.” Jared tugged him forward until he was pressed against the brick wall of the building, able to peek around the corner and see what Jared wanted to show him.  
  
He saw… a bunch of guys.  
  
Okay, that was a little anticlimactic.  
  
“Jared?”  
  
He heard the heavy sigh from behind him. “Jesus. Okay. Just watch, alright? You’ll get it in a minute.”  
  
Jensen decided to ignore Jared’s muttered, “Stupid fucking pigeon,” and watch the non-action happening on the streets.  
  
It took him a while to get it. He watched as the four guys stood there on the corner of the street, talking and laughing amongst themselves. Another man approached them, talking to one guy in particular, even taking him by the elbow and pulling him away from the other men for a moment before walking away, releasing him to return to his friends. He watched cars drive by, watched as the young men hooted and hollered at the cars, laughing and waving.  
  
He didn’t connect the dots until one of the cars pulled over and the driver had a long conversation with one of the young men. Which concluded when the man climbed into the passenger seat and drove away.  
  
He glanced over his shoulder to meet Jared’s eyes. “That’s what happens when you don’t have a plan, Pidge. You’re cold and starving and someone makes you an offer you can’t refuse and you figure hey, it’s just sex. Just sex, just bodies and what young guy doesn’t like sex, right? Whatever flavor, doesn’t really matter. It’s fun and hot and gets you off and if you make money off it too, that’s just icing on the cake. It’ll only be for a while, not for always. Not forever. Just until you make enough to get out.”  
  
Jared ran a hand over his face. “But you don’t get out, Pidge. There’s only one way out of that.”  
  
“Jared?”  
  
He watched as Jared visibly shook off whatever was bothering him. “C’mon, Pidge. I’m gonna treat you to lunch at the best spot in town. And we’re gonna talk. Okay?”  
  
Jensen nodded. “More dumpsters?” he asked, trying to keep the trepidation out of his voice. He wasn’t starving yet, still content from breakfast, and he didn’t know if he could bring himself to eat out of the garbage if he wasn’t starving. It was funny how pride worked sometimes.  
  
Jared laughed. “You’ll see. C’mon.”  
  


~*~

  
  
Jensen slid into the seat across from Jared in the booth. The diner was practically deserted at this time of the morning, breakfast long over but still too early for lunch, for most people. The only other people besides themselves was a young girl, heavily pregnant and an older man with gray in his hair and tired lines on his face, dozing beside the cash register.  
  
“Best place in town, huh?” Jensen asked dubiously.  
  
“Oh ye of little faith. Have I steered you wrong yet?” Jared asked in a hurt tone. “Hey, JD! Wake up, you got paying customers!”  
  
The other man stirred sleepily on his stool, wiping at his eyes. “You, pay? That’ll be the day, JT. That’ll be the day I fucking retire, you goddamn mooch.”  
  
“Aw, JD. I’m hurt. I’m really hurt. You know I’m good for it.”  
  
“Uh-huh. I’ll believe it when I see the cold hard cash, you little shit. And who’s this? You bringing another fucking deadbeat into my place?”  
  
Jensen stirred uneasily. The man’s gruff voice did nothing to alleviate the harshness of his words. But Jared seemed completely unperturbed.  
  
“This is Pidge. I found him last night.”  
  
“Jesus Christ, JT. He’s not a fucking stray dog.” JD made his way out from behind the counter and came around to the booth. He slapped two laminated menus down in front of them and held out a hand to Jensen. “Since this fucking yeti doesn’t have the manners to introduce us, I’m JD Morgan. And I’m guessing your name ain’t Pidge.”  
  
“Jensen Ackles.”  
  
“Nice to meet you. What’s a nice kid like you doing hanging around a fucking degenerate like JT here?”  
  
Jensen shrugged. “Well, he really did find me last night. He’s been following me around ever since.”  
  
Jared huffed in annoyance. “You know you love it.”  
  
“He probably loves having you around as much as I do.” JD grumbled. But Jensen was sharp enough to notice that the hand JD ran over Jared’s head was gentle, even if his tone wasn’t.  
  
“I can recommend the coffee. That’s the only thing I make, so I know it’s good.”  
  
“This is true.” Jared agreed. “JD makes the best fucking coffee in the world.”  
  
“I can probably get Sam to rustle you up some lunch if you don’t want to wait. Or did you want breakfast?”  
  
“We ate breakfast already.”  
  
“The shelter?”  
  
Jared picked up the menu and started reading. “No.”  
  
“Where did you eat, then?”  
  
“Tell Sam I want a cheeseburger with bacon. Rare, with the works.”  
  
“Where, JT?”  
  
Jensen’s head swiveled back and forth between the rapid fire conversation like he was watching a tennis match. He didn’t understand why JD’s voice was getting lower and lower, or why Jared’s shoulders were getting higher and higher.  
  
“Does it matter?”  
  
“It fucking matters.”  
  
“Dumpster out back of Reynold’s.”  
  
JD’s hand clamped tight on Jared’s shoulder. “You fucking _moron_.” He stalked away towards the kitchen, fists tightly clenched.  
  
“Jared?”  
  
Jared smiled slightly. “It’s okay, Pidge. Just JD’s way. He worries. You’d never know it, but the man’s been like a father to me. He just worries, is all. Anyway, enough about me. We were gonna talk about you, remember?”  
  
Jensen nodded. He had absolutely no idea what to say. And what was worse, he had no idea how Jared would react to what he told him.  
  
“My brother… my brother kicked me out. Actually, my brother threatened to beat the shit out of me and _then_ kicked me out.”  
  
“What happened? He catch you fucking his girl or something?”  
  
Jensen grimaced. “Not quite. Caught me kissing the quarterback.”  
  
Jared’s head tilted. “You have a girl football team?”  
  
He stared for a moment. When he started laughing, he literally couldn’t stop. He was choking and wheezing when JD came out of the kitchen and slapped two coffees down on the table.  
  
“You kill your friend, I am _not_ helping you hide the body.”  
  
“Aw, JD. I knew you cared.”  
  
“I just said I wouldn’t help!”  
  
“Yeah, but you didn’t mean it.”  
  
JD shook his head in bemusement but Jensen thought he could see a tiny smile on the man’s grizzled face.  
  
“Jensen, I was so busy being pissed at this moron I forgot to ask you what you wanted.”  
  
“Oh… well. That’s okay. I’m not very hungry and...”  
  
JD rolled his eyes. “Jensen, you’re a teenager. Granted, it was a million years ago, but I remember being a teenager. You’re hungry. So what do you want?”  
  
Jared kicked him under the table. “Sam’s burgers are fantastic.”  
  
He nodded. “Yeah, okay.”  
  
“Same as moron’s here?”  
  
“Hey!”  
  
“Yeah, that’d be great.”  
  
“Back in a jiffy.”  
  
“Which means take a nap and _maybe_ the food will be ready when you wake up.”  
  
“Shut your trap, JT.”  
  
Jared waited until the swinging door stopped flapping behind JD and then turned his attention back to him. “So, I’m guessing that’s a _no_ to the female football team, huh?”  
  
Jensen couldn’t help the little chuckle that escaped him. “Yeah, that’s a hell no.”  
  
“So you’re gay?”  
  
“I guess I am.”  
  
Jared nodded. “Cool.”  
  
“It is?”  
  
“Sure. But I guess your brother didn’t take it so great, huh?”  
  
He wiped a hand over his face. “Yeah, you could put it that way. I’ve never seen him so angry, so disgusted. He wouldn’t listen to me, wouldn’t let me explain.”  
  
“And you think your parents would be the same way if you told them.”  
  
“Well, our church… our church has a pretty firm viewpoint on gays and our parents are pretty involved with it. I couldn’t take the thought of seeing that same disgust on their faces when they found out. So I left.”  
  
Jared grabbed his hand where it rested on the tabletop. “I’m sorry, Pidge. But maybe it wouldn’t be that bad. I mean, they’d be shocked, sure. But you’re their son, right? They love you, don’t they?”  
  
Jensen took a sip of his coffee and made a pleased noise. Jared was right, JD did make excellent coffee. “You know what my brother said to me? _God doesn’t love queers, and neither do I_. What if my parents feel the same way?”  
  
“What if they don’t? What if they’re freaking out right now because their son never came home last night and they have no idea where he is? Or if he’s even alive?”  
  
Jared’s eyes were intent on his, looking right into his soul, it felt like and his thumb was rubbing back and forth over his knuckles. Jensen’s stomach was doing funny little flips and he turned his hand over so that he and Jared were holding hands, palm to palm, fingers wound around each other’s hand. It was awkward and weird and fantastic and the moment was so perfect that they both jumped and jerked their hands away when JD slapped their plates down on the table.  
  
He gave them both a funny look, thumped a bottle of ketchup down on the table, and said, “Don’t make a mess, you stupid douche nozzle. If I have to wipe up even one ketchup drawing, I’ll shove that bottle so far up your ass you’ll be sneezing tomatoes for a week. I’ll be back in a minute with more coffee.”  
  
There was something about JD’s delivery that was absolutely hysterical and suddenly Jensen was roaring with laughter. After a moment, Jared joined in, grin wide and dimples on show, his head thrown back against the vinyl seat as he laughed.  
  
When Jensen took the first bite of his burger, he knew somehow everything was going to be okay.  
  


~*~

  
  
They sat in the diner for hours, drinking coffee and talking. Jared asked question after question, pulling Jensen’s life out of him in pieces. Jensen told Jared about his little sister, his parents, the fact that he was supposed to be studying to become a physical therapist when he started college in the fall. He told Jared about discovering he was gay and how scary it was to be attracted to other men in a house, a school, a community that considered homosexuality to be abnormal and wrong. He told Jared about kissing Tom and how disappointing it was, for a first kiss.  
  
“Not worth getting outed and kicked out of your house, huh?” Jared asked with a soft smile.  
  
“Not hardly.”  
  
The only thing he didn’t tell Jared was that he was beginning to believe if _Jared_ had been his first kiss, it would have been totally worth it. Talking with Jared was so easy, so natural, it felt like speaking to someone he had known all his life. He knew there was nothing he could tell Jared that would shock him or scare him away. He had a way of listening that made Jensen feel like Jared knew him, _really_ knew him, the way nobody else in his life could or would. He felt like he could sit here forever, safe and warm in the diner, drinking coffee and talking with Jared, sharing deep dark secrets. Except for the fact Jared hadn’t shared much of anything with him. He had done all the talking. He opened his mouth to ask a couple of questions of his own when JD poked his head out of the kitchen.  
  
“JT, you gonna be getting Jensen home?”  
  
Jared glanced out the window. “Christ, it’s getting dark. C’mon, Pidge. We gotta head out if we’re gonna have you home in time for supper.”  
  
“What? Jared, I can’t go home. I just… can’t.”  
  
Jared leaned across the table, his eyes intent on Jensen’s. “Pidge… _Jensen_. Listen to me. You do not belong out here. Not when you have a family waiting for you at home. Your brother’s being a dick, no question. But you haven’t even talked to your parents. They deserve a chance. _You_ deserve a chance. But you’re not going to get it here. I promise you, if it doesn’t go the way I think it will, you can come find me. I’ll be here and I’ll keep you safe. I’ll be here as long as you need me. But it’s going to be fine.”  
  
Jensen glanced down at the table top. He wanted to believe Jared. He wanted to believe that his parents wouldn’t hate him for something that wasn’t his fault. That they could accept him and love him anyway.  
  
But…  
  
“What if it’s not?”  
  
Jared squeezed his hand. “One thing at a time, Pidge. One thing at a time. C’mon. JD, can I borrow your car?”  
  
“Does the Pope shit in a telephone booth?”  
  
“I didn’t think he did.”  
  
“Well, there’s your answer.”  
  
“Please, JD? How else am I gonna get Pidge home?”  
  
Jensen watched as Jared turned an imploring gaze on the older man.   
  
“Knock that shit off, you know those puppy-dog eyes don’t work on me.” JD was scowling but at the same time, he started digging in his pocket for his car keys.  
  
“You wreck it, it’s your ass.”  
  
Jared snorted as he accepted the keys. “Ain’t that the truth.”  
  
JD winced. “JT, you know I didn’t mean…”  
  
He waved a hand. “It’s cool, JD. I know.”  
  
Jensen felt like he was missing an entire conversation being carried on right in front of him, but in a different language. He had no clue what JD and Jared weren’t saying. But it was enough that for the first time, the gruffness had faded from JD’s face and he was looking at the younger man with simple affection.  
  
Jared met his gaze for a moment, then smiled that heartbreaking grin. “Thanks, JD. C’mon, Pidge. We gotta get you home. I can’t wait to be proven right yet again, forever establishing my superior knowledge of human motivation and behavior.”  
  
JD and Jensen snorted in perfect unison and Jared laughed.  
  


~*~

  
  
Jared walked him to his front door.   
  
“It’ll be fine, Pidge. Your parents love you. They’re probably losing their goddamn minds right about now.”  
  
“What if it isn’t?”  
  
Jared turned him around with a hand on his arm. He drew him in close, cupping the back of his neck, running long fingers through the short hairs on the nape of his neck, pulling a shiver from Jensen. Jared rested his forehead against Jensen’s, nose rubbing against his in an affectionate gesture.  
  
“It will be,” he whispered. “But if it isn’t, if by some miracle I’m wrong, I’ll be here. You can always find me at the diner. JD usually knows where I am.”  
  
“I’m scared.” The confession was a hushed whisper, barely breathed against Jared’s lips.  
  
“I know. But you don’t have to be. No matter what, you’ve got me, Pidge.”  
  
Jensen didn’t know what to do. Should he knock? Should he ring the bell? He couldn’t use his key, could he? Maybe they had already changed the locks… He closed his eyes and leaned against Jared’s warm body.   
  
Jared huffed impatiently and reached over Jensen’s shoulder to pound on the door. He ignored Jensen’s outraged “Hey!” and rolled his eyes. “What? If we waited for you to do it, we’d be here all night.”  
  
Before Jensen had a chance to answer, the door was yanked open and his mother was standing there, eyes wide and full of tears.  
  
“Oh thank God. Jensen!”  
  
He was engulfed in his mother’s arms before he had a chance to say anything. His mother’s perfume filled his nose and he was crying before he realized it. He’d thought he had lost this, that it was gone forever and even if this was a temporary reprieve before he told her the truth, he had to take it.  
  
“Mom.”  
  
“Jensen, where have you been? We’ve had the police out looking for you and everything.”  
  
“Mom, I have to tell you something. You and Dad. Mom, I…”  
  
She pulled back, wiping fingertips under her eyes to try and brush away her tears. Her make-up was smeared, her face blotchy, but Jensen still thought she was beautiful. “Jensen, do you think your father and I are stupid? Or that we don’t know you? Sweetheart, we’ve known for a while that you’re gay. We’ve just been waiting for you to tell us.”  
  
He was completely speechless.  
  
His mother laid a fond hand against his cheek. “Darling. You’ve never been able to lie worth a damn. When we asked you last year who you were taking to the prom and you started stuttering all over yourself, I knew. We started looking for a new church the next day. We were just waiting for you to tell us.” She cupped his face in both hands and looked him straight in the eye. “Your brother was wrong. Do you hear me, Jensen? He was _wrong_. God loves you, and so do we. Jensen, we love you so much.”  
  
Jensen closed his eyes as a tear slipped down his cheek.  
  
“Sweetheart, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, we should have said something. We should have left the church right away, we should have told you we knew, but we wanted you to come to us. We didn’t want to pressure you.”  
  
He let his mother wipe away his tears. He took a shuddering breath and opened his eyes. He tried to smile. “Where’s Dad?”  
  
She smiled. “Upstairs, telling your brother just how grounded he is.”  
  
Jensen choked out a watery laugh.  
  
“Sweetheart, are you okay? Where have you been?”  
  
“I’m okay. Thanks to Jared, I’m fine.”  
  
“Jared?”  
  
He turned, wanting to introduce his mother to the man who had saved his life, saved _everything_. But Jared was gone.  
  


~*~

  
  
When Jensen walked into the diner a few days later, JD greeted him with a scowl.  
  
“What the hell are you doing here, Jensen?”  
  
“I’m looking for Jared.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
“Because I owe him, that’s why.”  
  
JD wiped down a table with a wet towel. “So what, you’ve decided JT’s your new charity case? He doesn’t need that, Jensen.”  
  
“I know that! He saved my life, JD. He gave me back my family. I would never have gone home if it hadn’t been for him. He gave me my life back. I can’t say thank you for that?”  
  
JD sighed and sat down in the booth he had just cleaned. He gestured towards the other side of the booth. Jensen slid in and folded his hands on top of the table.  
  
“Jensen, JT’s a street kid. Do you even know what that means?”  
  
He shook his head slowly.  
  
“He’s been living on the streets since he was ten. He’s sixteen now and he thinks his life is over.”  
  
Jensen swallowed hard. He’d thought Jared was older than he was. He acted like he was so much older and wiser than Jensen was, like he’d seen so much more of life than Jensen ever would. Jensen had never even considered that Jared might be younger than him. He tried to imagine being alone on the streets at the age of ten and couldn’t do it. It had been terrifying at eighteen.  
  
“Scary thought, isn’t it? Do you know how a ten year old survives on the streets, Jensen? It isn’t pretty. I know JT showed you some of the kids hustling. He wanted you to know just what you were dealing with, what you would be getting yourself into. He didn’t want that for you.”  
  
“I didn’t want that for me either. To be honest, I never thought about it. I just… wound up here. I wasn’t thinking. I didn’t even realize where I was when I stopped for the night.”  
  
“Right. And it’s that kind of carelessness that can get a person killed out here. Don’t get me wrong, Jensen. It’s not a war zone or anything. But there are people out here who would have killed you just for the sweatshirt you were wearing. Not because they’re evil. But because wearing it would save their life, or the life of someone they cared about. It was pure luck that JT found you when he did. Pure luck. Do you realize that?”  
  
He nodded. He knew just how lucky he was.  
  
JD ran a hand through his hair. “I’ve been trying to get JT to move in with me and Sam for a couple of years now. He won’t. He won’t let anyone save him because he doesn’t think he’s worth saving. Can you understand that?”  
  
“I have to try, JD.”  
  
He nodded. “I know.” JD sighed heavily. “It’s a nice day. He’s probably at the park right now. You could find him there.”  
  
“What’s he doing at the park?”  
  
JD cocked an eyebrow. “Well, he’s not walking his dog.”  
  


~*~

  
  
Jared was panhandling.  
  
With a bright smile, dimples on display, Jared was approaching complete strangers and asking for spare change. Whether it was the smile or just Jared’s innate friendliness, more often than not people dug into their pockets for coins. But it hurt something deep inside of him to watch Jared begging.  
  
“Jared?”  
  
He watched as Jared’s back stiffened. “What are you doing here, Pidge?”  
  
“You left.”  
  
Jared turned around. “I told you I’d be there as long as you needed me. You didn’t need me. So I left.”  
  
“It has nothing to do with needing you, Jared!”  
  
“Well, why the fuck are you here then? What did you think would happen, Jensen? Did you think we’d get together, hang out at the diner, grab a coffee every now and then? You’ve got your life and I’ve got mine. There’s not really a middle ground here.”  
  
“What if I want to make one?”  
  
Jared stared at him. “What?”  
  
“You’re my friend, Jared. You saved my life, for absolutely no ulterior motive that I can see, you took care of me, fed me and then you convinced me to go home. I was too scared to face them on my own. I would never have seen my family again if it wasn’t for you.”  
  
He scuffed his feet. “Did you kick your brother’s ass?”  
  
Jensen grinned. “Didn’t have to. Mom and Dad kicked it for me. He’s grounded _forever_. He had to apologize to me and explain to my sister that he loved me and that there was nothing wrong with being gay. Even if he didn’t mean it, it was awesome.”  
  
“He didn’t mean it?”  
  
“I don’t know.” Jensen shrugged. “I don’t care. I’ve got Mom and Dad and Mack. Josh’ll come around. He never could hold a grudge.”  
  
“I’m glad, Pidge.” Jared rubbed a hand up Jensen’s arm.  
  
“There’s just one thing missing.”  
  
Jared jerked his hand away like he’d just touched a hot stove. “Pidge, I told you—”  
  
“You haven’t told me _anything_. Why the hell are you living on the streets, Jared? You’re smart, you’re gorgeous, you’ve got a friend like JD who cares about you a hell of a lot. What the hell happened to you?”  
  
Jared scrubbed his free hand, the one not holding his cup of change, over his face. He looked exhausted all of a sudden. “Jensen…”  
  
“Talk to me, Jared. You know everything about me. Tell me about you for a change.”  
  
His shoulders slumped. “Fine. You want my tale of woe? You wanna hear about how bad my life is? Sure. Why not?”  
  
He followed Jared as he trudged towards the nearby park bench, sat beside him when Jared collapsed onto it like he was too tired to move any farther. He watched Jared’s face as he spoke, watched as Jared refused to meet his eyes and instead talked to the ground between his feet.  
  
“My family died when I was nine. Car crash. Some three time loser drunk whose luck finally ran out. This time instead of taking out a mail box or a telephone pole, he took out my family. Mom, Dad, my sister Megan, and my older brother Jeff.”  
  
“Jesus Christ Jared.”  
  
“I didn’t have any other family, so I wound up in foster care. It’s hard when you’re that age. Most people are looking for babies to adopt. They don’t want a nine year old who’s sad and cries all the time and wets the bed.”  
  
It didn’t matter that Jared didn’t want to look at him right now. He reached out and took Jared’s hand, tightening his grip when he tried to pull away. He could listen. He could sit here and listen while Jared spoke of heartbreaking things that should never happen to anyone, let alone a nine year old kid, but he had to be touching him while he did it.  
  
Jared stopped trying to pull away after a moment, but he still wouldn’t look at Jensen.  
  
“I went through three different foster families in the first sixth months. They were good people, they were. I was just more than they could handle. I barely spoke, I wouldn’t interact with them. I was sullen and moody and cried all the time.”  
  
“Jared, you’d just lost your whole family. No one could blame you for not being a ball of sunshine.”  
  
Jared continued as if he hadn’t spoken. “Then I got sent to live with the Allen’s. They didn’t care that I cried or wet the bed, as long as I washed the sheets every day. They weren’t in it to make a family. They were in it for the cash. Every foster kid they had living with them meant more money in their pockets. So as long as I kept my head down, they would have kept me.”  
  
“What happened?”  
  
“The dad. George. He loved the foster kids. Loved them a lot. Too much. I couldn’t stand it, so I left.”  
  
“Wait. What do you mean?”  
  
Jared rolled his eyes. “Oh for chrissakes. Do I need to spell it out for you? I know you’re naïve Pidge, but c’mon!”  
  
“Jared—”  
  
“He liked to fuck the kids, okay? And he just loved me, because everyone knew I cried all night anyway.”  
  
He tightened his grip on Jared’s hand.  
  
“I just…” Jared swallowed. “I already felt like a worthless excuse for a human being for being alive when my family wasn’t. I mean, why the hell did I survive the crash without a scratch and my entire family died? Why me? Why the fuck was I so special, huh Pidge?”  
  
“I don’t know,” he whispered. “But I’m so damn glad you did.”  
  
Jared shook his head. “Anyway, I couldn’t take it. Couldn’t stand his hands on me, the things he used to say when he was fucking me. So I ran. I ran away and ended up doing the same thing George used to do. I only had one skill, only one thing I could do. You wouldn’t believe the price people will pay for ten year old ass, Pidge.”  
  
He had to fight to keep from throwing up. “Jesus, Jared…”  
  
“Look, you wanted to know, alright? So I’m telling you. Maybe you’ll finally realize that this isn’t some Lifetime movie where you get to save me and we live happily ever after.”  
  
“Jared, that’s not what I’m trying to do!”  
  
“Sure you’re not. Anyway, that’s my story. I’ve been peddling my ass for the last six years, but it was _my_ choice. I’m not a victim, I’m not some charity case and I’m not somebody that you need to save.”  
  
“I know you’re not.”  
  
Jared stared at him suspiciously. “You do?”  
  
“Jared, I don’t think you’re a victim. You think I care if you slept with the entire fucking city? I don’t, as long as you’re safe about it and it’s something you want. _You gave me back my family_. You can fuck a sheep for all I care.”  
  
Jared laughed hoarsely.  
  
He turned on the park bench so that he was facing Jared, one leg tucked under him. He refused to let go of Jared’s hand. He noticed that despite Jared’s refusal to maintain eye contact, he was clinging to his hand so tightly his nails were digging into the skin.  
  
“But Jared, I don’t think that is something you want.”  
  
He closed his eyes. “Jensen…”  
  
“Listen to me for a minute, okay? What happened to you was horrible. It was _horrible_ , Jared. Stuff like that shouldn’t happen to anybody, let alone a kid. But you got yourself out of a nightmare and you survived and that’s nothing to be ashamed of. You take care of people, you care about them. Hell, you saved the life of a complete stranger and didn’t ask for anything in return. Don’t you think that’s something to be proud of? I sure as hell do.”  
  
Jared stared at the ground between his feet. He reached out his free hand and brushed it over Jared’s cheek. “I’ve known you for less than a week and I already know you’re my best friend. I know I’d like us to be more than friends, someday. I know I don’t want to lose you.”  
  
Jared hummed tunelessly under his breath and turned his face into Jensen’s caress.  
  
“I don’t think you’re a victim, Jared. I think you’re a survivor. I think you’ve had to do some really shitty things to survive. You’ve had to make impossible choices, choices you didn’t want me to have to make. You saved me from more than freezing to death, didn’t you? And then you made me go see my mom. You gave me back my family, even after you had lost yours. So what I’m asking for, what I want from you, is this: come home with me. Let me share my family with you.”  
  
“Pidge…”  
  
“I’m not leaving here without you. So you either come with me, or I’m coming with you.”  
  
He watched as Jared took a deep breath. Finally, _finally_ he turned to meet his eyes. “And what do you tell your parents about me? Your family, your friends? Tell them I’m a whore you met on the streets? A street hustler who’s almost past his sell-by date? I’m nobody, Jensen. I’m nothing.”  
  
He cupped Jared’s face in his hands and met Jared’s desperate gaze steadily. “I’ll tell anyone who’ll listen exactly who you are. You’re Jared. You’re my best friend. You’re the man I’m going to fall in love with. The man I want to share my home and my family and my life with. If _you_ want that. You’ve had to make some hard choices in the past, Jared. I’m asking you to make another one. But it’s your choice. Whatever you decide to do, it’s up to you. What do you want?”  
  
Jared’s eyes never left his. “I want you,” he whispered.  
  
He leaned in, brushed his lips over Jared’s, a quick glancing kiss, but Jared’s mouth opened eagerly under his and he couldn’t resist. He flicked his tongue against Jared’s bottom lip and Jared took the invitation and ran with it. He cupped Jensen’s face, tilting his head to the perfect angle and sealed their mouths together and Jensen promptly forgot everything. He forgot that he was sitting on a park bench in clear view of everyone, he forgot that he had yet to convince his parents that Jared coming into their lives was the best thing that could ever happen to his family and he forgot that he had spent the last few days in an agony of fear that he would never see Jared again.   
  
Their tongues glided together gently, one slick slide against the other. Jared was a damn good kisser, going from deep wet kisses to tender little presses, even a couple of gentle nips, just the barest hint of teeth that took Jensen’s breath away. He was trembling, minute little shivers that traveled up his spine and down his arms, all the way to his fingers that were clinging to Jared’s shirt.   
  
It was everything a first kiss should be.  
  
When he pulled back, Jared was panting for breath, just like Jensen was. He ran his fingers lightly over Jared’s cheek, watched as Jared shuddered, closed his eyes and turned his face into the caress. Jared’s lips pressed against his palm and Jensen’s heart skipped a beat.  
  
When Jared’s eyes opened again, they were glistening. “I just want you, Pidge. However I can have you.”  
  
“Good choice,” he whispered. He leaned forward and kissed Jared softly. “Seeing as how that’s all I want, too.”  
  


The End.


End file.
